1. Story ✔ Smut ✘ ...Throwing your tits or dick in, on, or around my character(s) shouldn't be one of your top priorities. I promise, you're not gonna be the exception or have that unique, unexplainable something to make me think otherwise.
   
   If smut's the only thing you're interested in RPing, then you and every other '50 Shades' poster-child can team up and revel in each other's mediocrity.
2. Any smut to be had will only be done if the story appropriately calls for it. I know it's kinda hard to believe that someone might actually be interested in something other than poorly-written sex given the majority of you, but suffice it to say it's not really my problem if you can't get your dick wet by any other means.
3. I prefer to RP in rooms as opposed to PM for the sake of character interaction. Moreover, do not PM me with a starter-post unless you just have an impatient yearning to get ignored. It's very rare that I even comply as I mainly reserve PM messages for OOC conversation.
4. That being said: I don't mind if RP occasionally goes from room to PM if it serves to be more convenient for the both of us. I do not, however, set schedules for RP — my agenda is far too chaotic for that. Therefore, asking if "picking up again next Wednesday around 3 PM" works out, probably won't for that very reason.
5. I do not, and will not discuss possible plots or storylines. There is nothing more drab and boring to me than writing out events that were already expected to happen. Spontaneous writing or improvised posts are much more exciting and always preferred. If this isn't how you like to write your stories, then I suggest you find someone else who shares a similar predilection.
6. To reiterate further: I'm a sporadically industrious guy with an extremely unpredictable schedule. Oftentimes this takes me away from RP and, occasionally, with very little warning beforehand. I'll always provide a heads up if I'm able, but whining about it will only put me AFK that much faster.
7. One-lining for banter. Para + for serious RP. Either way I will match what you give and really don't care if you return the favor. I'm mainly concerned with the quality that's given and whether there's any grammatical structure.
8. Grammar is very close to my heart. ♥ Literacy is very close to my heart. ♥ Punctuation is very close to my heart. ♥ Please do your best to utilize all three if you expect me to take you halfway seriously. Errors and typos are all part of the writing process; mistakes here and there shouldn't be warrant for crucifixion. But not giving a shit about the quality of your writing is a pretty good reflection of your interest in the RP itself. If you don't give a fuck about it, then I have no reason to either. Simple.
9. If English isn't your first language, rest assured my patience will be infinite with you. Writing a story in a foreign tongue is applaud-worthy enough without feeling indebted. Aside from all that, your complete disregard for refinement will only deter me from writing with you ever again.
10. No means no. I'm not looking to be 'convinced'. Annoyance comes in spades when people cannot take NO for a goddamned answer. There are at least 150 roleplayers online every single day. If I happen to forgo your offer to write, I'm not really sure what the hell is stopping you from getting your RP fix elsewhere.
11. I reserve the right to decline RP for whatever reason I choose. You will not always be entitled to know those reasons; sometimes I simply don't want to. I implore you to learn how to accept rejection with a little more grace and dignity. Not only will it prove to me that you're not a spoiled brat, but it'll also help in the future when you decide to get a job.
12. My characters will never, ever, ever, ever, EVER be altered to benefit your own. I'm not entirely sure why some people think they have a say in how someone else creates their own goddamned characters, but very few things are more obnoxious in RP than that. If one of my OCs behaves in a way that you don't agree with, you can either suck it up and deal with it, or find someone else to write with. Otherwise, you might wanna get used to the idea of writing by yourself since no one has the time nor the patience to deal with that kind of micromanagement.
13. All my character profiles are made from scratch; stealing the codes won't make yours look any better. It helps to know at least one or two things about introductory coding before you attempt to concoct a monstrosity. Thieves are pretty much everywhere and yes... it's very annoying when good work gets taken, but let's not forget... you're here to RP. Not code.
14. Subsequently, I'm not here to give people lessons on CSS and HTML. Google exists; I suggest you put it to use. Teaching yourself how to code isn't hard (cue sarcastic curtsy), though you'd probably know that by now if you'd ever bothered to try. If I've already declined a request for help and you continue to pester me afterward, you'll either be blocked or ignored depending on how many drugs I've taken beforehand.
15. I am not my character(s). My characters are not me. Know the difference between IC and OOC; it is no one else's responsibility to figure that shit out but yours. More often than not, my OOC text will be followed by either [brackets] or (parentheses). Should there be any confusion (in the event I forget a bracket in chat) — Just ask. I'll be more than happy to clarify.

These rules are pretty straight forward. As mentioned before, I'm fairly PM friendly unless you've given me reason not to be. I'm here for RP and to hang out with people using the very little free time I have left to spare... not anyone's bullshit. If I wanted to bask in continuous drama, I'd have gotten my degree in Theatre.

Remember, this is just a hobby for me — not a lifestyle, priority, or personal obligation. Therefore, unless my devotion toward writing a story with you has already been confirmed, don't expect me to take RP nearly as seriously as you do.